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Monday, December 20, 2010

People who mess about in car parks

So... its nearly Christmas and I decided to pop to sainsburys for some christmas essentials... wrapping paper, gift tags, Hello Kitty stationary, you know the usual.  Now the thing that I hate most about supermarkets is the car parks.  People just faf around and get in my way constantly!  Seriously, there was some clueless woman with a shopping trolley just in the middle of the road not moving!!  WHY???  Why on earth would she think its a good idea to just plonk her self in the middle of the road in a supermarket car park a few days before christmas???  As I drove up to her, I stopped (I am nothing but restrained) and she just looked at me, LOOKED AT ME!! as if I was doing something insane... So I motioned for her to get out of the road and she continued to stare as if I had 3 heads or something... 2 minutes when past, and being the ultra polite  person I am, beeped my horn for about 10 seconds so she could have no doubt of my intention.  She leaped about 5 foot in the air and scuttled off to the pavement... yes the pavement... for pedestrians!

First obstacle overcome, I drive around looking for a car parking space, and would you believe it, someone else gets in my way.  This time the car I am following just decided to stop.  There doesn't seem to be any reason for this, no mad women with trolleys in sight, no one quickly getting in or out of the car.  Nothing... Just stopped.  Do people realise there are other cars that want to, god forbid, actually park??? 

Then there is the classic... The reverse without looking straight into the road where you have to slam on your brakes to avoid ploughing into them side on... or my personal favorite, lets take up 2 car parking spaces as I cant be arsed to park properly and everyone else can just park around me, so when I leave, the other drivers will look like they have the inability to park.

oh and happy christmas

Friday, December 17, 2010

Friday, December 10, 2010

Things that people do in WoW that annoy me

Ok, I play World of Warcraft, i'm a geek I admit it wholeheartedly.  As some of you no doubt know, the new expantion came out this week, so I've been leveling like mad along with the other addicted masses...

However some people in game behaviour really bring out the worst in me.. So here is a list of things that people do in WoW that annoy me...

1.  People who put herbs on the AH in stacks of 1.  You money grabbing bastards!

2.  Druids who swoop in and steal a herb that I'm tryng to pick.  Just because you don't have to break flight form doesn't mean you don't have to have manners!

3.  Players in a PuG that have to constantly go on about how great they are....  Well I had the legendary mace and I don't link it in every other sentence.  Get some god damn modesty you egotistical idiots!

4. Players in PuG's that constantly link recount after every trash pull just to show they are top dps... until a boss fight when they are generally rubbish and go all quiet.

5.  Finally,  people who kill my mobs, take my quest items and get in my way.  Don't you all know that this is MY game?  You are ruining it for me.  GO AWAY!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

People who ring me on a Saturday morning from work

I HATE people who ring me from work at 8:45 on a god damn saturday morning who then go on to say in their most scornful voice..

"Are you still in bed???"

Yes im still bloody in bed on my day off!  I am NOT going to set my alarm and get up early on my only day off on the offchance that YOU have done something moronic to the computer system!!

DIEEEE!!!!!

Winter Hats That Make Me Look Stupid

Now as many of my close friends know, I am always complaining about the cold.  And it being the dead of winter and at least -30 degrees outside, I decided it was time to buy a winter hat.  But what kind?  You see so many women walking around town, donned in their stylish arctic headwear, they make it look so easy.  But is it?.... NO!

Instead of looking like this....




I get this...






There clearly has to be some arcane magic to looking good in a hat that is fiercely guarded so that us mere mortals are doomed forever to look ridiculous.   Or maybe Ive just got on odd shaped head.



Friday, November 26, 2010

Shania Twain

Shania Twain... What can I say? She epitomises everything I hate.  Please can someone for the love of god tell me why people would choose to listen to this?  Watch her band in the background... these are actual musicians!  Honest to god real musicans...   please go away and sacrifice yourself to the gods of credibility now and never darken my door again!



A trip to Tesco's

The other night, I visited my local Tesco metro so stock up on snackage ready for a marathon night of xboxing.  I got the usual gaming fare... Coke, chocolate, crisps and these nice cheese twists that they do there.  When I got to the till, the assistant put everything in a bag for me, apart from my chocolate. 

"I'll let you put this in your handbag in case it gets lost in the carrier bag"

Lost?.... Lost in a tescos bag?  Why should be Twix be anymore precious than my other vital groceries?  Is this a comman phenonman?  Do items usualy disappear from Tescos bags?  If it is, I would have saved my Diet Coke from this impending voayage into the unknown, not my Twix.  Oh had I but known!

Corparate Business People

I HATE so called inspiring pictures of corporate business...  See for yourselves..





Seriously, is there anything more annoying than these people who wander around in their ridiculous uncomfortable suits with cuff links, thinking they are so important... walking around the place, talking in a loud voice about they are looking to expand their portfolio of properties or other such nonsense.  Be warned, you will find most of these working in marketing. 

So if your one of these people, and use buzzwords like "webinar"  "blue sky thinking" or refer to problems as "challenges" , do me a favour, find the nearest tree and hang yourself.  Think of it as "resource downsizing" for the good of the human race.